Archive for the ‘Worse Housemate’ Category

fryup.jpg   It’s glaringly obvious that the present government likes nothing better than to stick their nose in our private business and never more so than when it comes to the subject of health. I’m sick-and-bloody-tired of being told what I should or should not eat, drink or inhale.  This current obsession with a ‘healthy lifestyle’ is driving me nuts (admittedly, it wasn’t such a long journey).

Gillian McKeith   Overall good health is not just about the absence of disease but is tied up with the numerous little pleasures we indulge in to make us feel happier and give us some enjoyment. Personally speaking, if I’ve had a hard day I’d find little solace in a mung-bean stew or a sodding celery stick. I wonder what Gillian McKeith does when she’s pissed-off (which — by the look of her — she is most of the time). Probably meditates or bounces on that stupid trampoline she’s always banging on about (doesn’t she know about the law of gravity and the damage all that bouncing can have on the female figure – not that she has one).

marsbar.jpg   I think it was hearing about the headmaster who removed the poison chocolate playtime snacks from his pupils that just drove me over the edge. Then I read about some place in the United States that banned the use of scent and perfumed products, because it could possibly provoke a negative health reaction in those who had a ‘chemical sensitivity’. I guarantee that fair percentage of these ‘sensitive’ souls are driving around in gas-guzzling, atmosphere-polluting cars.

I’m not making an anti-car point here – I’m just saying that practically everything we do has some effect on someone else, somewhere on this planet. Of course some restrictions have to be in place to protect people from the life-choices of others but we’re now getting to the stage where good-sense and compromise is being replaced by blame, victimisation and intolerance. Ridiculous laws and regulations — which pander to the wishes of hypochondriacs, kill-joys and ‘healthy-lifestyle’ zealots — seem to be springing up at a frightening rate.

All this excessive ‘healthism’ is taking the fun out of life, removing the excitement of taking a bit of a risk. And health fanatics are the most boring, disapproving, sanctimonious people who ever walked the earth. Have you ever shared a house with one? I had a roommate once who disapproved of the following: alcohol, tap water, sugar, salt, meat, wheat, coffee, tea (some herbal teas met with her approval), dairy products, all cooked foods, smokers (obviously), citrus fruits, all non-organic products, and anything which had been stored in an aluminium container.

She also disapproved of:

‘Loud’ music — anything that was audible to the human ear
Television — ‘mindless drivel’
The use of deodorants and the removal of body hair
Most men
(not that she seemed to be troubled much by male attention)
Household cleaning products — and the vacuum gave her a migraine — so no housework for her, then…
Gossiping — not that anyone wanted to talk to her (about her — yes)

That was a few years ago, so she’s probably locked herself away in an isolation tank by now, with a few organic carrots. Admittedly, she was a bit of an extreme case but you can see where all that obsession with health can lead.

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