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I don’t want you to think that I’ve got nothing better to do on a Friday night than hang around watching television.  No, my life is one long round of parties and … em … other fun stuff (whooo! – I can hardly draw breath, thanks to this whirlwind of socialising).

fridaynight.jpg   But, anyway, I just happened to ‘catch’ The Friday Night Project last night (in between Big Brother episodes) and I just wanted to say that Alan Carr and Justin Lee Collins are pure genius as a comedy duo.

lily-allen.jpg  Alan and Justin had Lily Allen on last week as their guest presenter (I just happened to catch that episode too) and the girl did good. And skinny! She’s either lost a helluva lot of weight since her Myspace rant – or she had been suffering from delusions brought on by all that size zero guff.

aheifer.jpg   I’m in the same situation as Lily, actually, as a number of ‘elements’ in my life are conspiring to bring me to the mistaken belief that I’m becoming a bit of a heifer.

My bathroom scales are the worse culprit in this vile campaign – last night, for instance, they were trying to convince me that I’m heading for the ten stone mark. Bloody cheek. Most of my clothes and all of the mirrors in my house are in league in this evil plot to convince me that my uber bunny status is now sadly diminished. I’m now almost convinced that I should splash-out on some exercise equipment. Something that you just sit on and don’t have to move about a lot or break a sweat. Something magical. Trust me – such a device will be invented in our lifetime. There’s probably one available now and I just haven’t heard of it. I might check out the Shopping Channel (in between all those parties I attend) and see what’s on offer.

Tax doesn’t have to be taxing – my arse.

tax.jpg   hurley.jpg   I’m attempting to complete my self-assessment tax forms and it’s driving me bananas. I’d probably be bald by Monday, if it wasn’t for the fact that my hair has grown back to Burley Hurley proportions. Next time around I’ll no doubt have to fork-out for the services of an accountant but right now I’m saving up for a decent hair-cut. I’m paranoid about my hair and won’t let just any old crimper loose on my tresses. Right now I’m trying to grow out my fringe. I hate short fringes but was somehow convinced that a shortish one would ‘bring out my eyes’ and hide the stonking-great frown line I have between my brows. But it was only there in the first place because I worry about taxes and over-enthusiastic hair stylists and getting fat — in addition to the World Situation and man’s inhumanity to man  (just in case I had you thinking I’m shallow and self-obsessed).

fringe.jpg   Yesterday I plastered some hair gel/cream on my growing-out fringe and left the house with a light laugh. How was I to know that the stuff would dry in to a solid mass and that I would be walking about for about four hours – AND TALKING TO PEOPLE — looking like I had some serious scaly, flaky (possibly contagious) scalp condition? I did notice a couple of funny looks but I thought it was because I had over-done the Touché Éclat (on my – now exposed — frown-line).

Have a nice weekend (you two) – go easy on the hair gel and stay away from evil mirrors.

By the way – *I’ve just watched Madonna on the Live Earth concert – she looks great and what a performance!

* I just ‘caught’ the concert as I was getting ready to go out on yet another round of socialising. Of course.

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I currently have a ‘to-do’ list that looks like it might take about two years to get through – so I took the best course of action and did a bit of fantasy online window shopping.  Some time back I’d seen a pair of Christian Loubontin ‘Peep Dorsay’ shoes that I had taken quite a fancy to, but I’ve had no luck in locating them today. Not that there’s much chance of me actually buying them in this or any other lifetime – but I was indulging in that whole escape-from-reality thing.

0452575854135_150×150.jpg   I ended up (in a virtual sense) at Saks Fifth Avenue, where these Ernesta Plateau Sandals (also by Loubontin) caught my eye. A touch of the porn star/lap dancer about them but I can see they might have their uses. And a mere $785.00, too – it was all I could do to stop reaching for my credit card. It would, of course, have been declined but I would have had my two minutes of excitement for the day.

0404352666646_275×275.jpg   During my little ‘shopping trip’ I also discovered this Miu Miu Crochet Frame Bag, which has now been reduced (surprise, surprise) from $1,050.00 to a much more manageable $734.00. Try to contain yourself – I know you so want it. It is clearly a masterpiece of a bag – a ‘must-have’ for every woman’s wardrobe…   

Okay – I’ll stop now. I wouldn’t be seen dead with that woolly-looking disaster on my arm, even if they paid me. Well, if they really did pay me (anything more than, say, a fiver) I probably would cart it about for while but they’d have to let me sell it on eBay afterwards.

Now I have to force myself to do a bit of cleaning around here before someone makes an anonymous call to Kim and Aggie.
 

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