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Archive for August, 2008

I’ve just read that Salman Rushdie’s The Enchantress of Florence is the bookie’s favourite to win the Man Booker prize this year. Strewth, hasn’t the old boy won enough prizes already, especially Booker-related ones? I think there should be some sort of rule, banning him for a good few years, at least. I’ve never seen what the big deal about Rushdie is — I find him unreadable but occasionally useful when it my insomnia gets totally out of control.

Personally, I want Joseph O’Neill’s Netherland  to win. I’ve just finished it and don’t care that it’s supposedly over-hyped and that there’s little real ‘action’ — I really loved it and it’s now up there with my favourite ever books. The protagonist’s wife is a bit of a pain in the arse, though, and I dislike the American cover (that’s the British one above) — but O’Neill’s writing style is marvelous. I haven’t read Steve Toltz’s A Fraction of the Whole yet but I like the sound of it. Anyone but Rushdie.

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THE ALIENS ARE COMING!

  I’ve just been watching Richard & Judy and was shocked to hear that some bampots from Bebo and a television company are planning to use a radio telescope to beam hundreds of messages up (out?) to a planet 20 light-years from Earth.

Good publicity for the sponsors, no doubt, but — as one of Richard & Judy’s ‘experts’ pointed out — we could be playing a very dangerous game and there is a remote possibility that we could be exposing ourselves to *a life-form with a seriously bad attitude.  Even Richard, who is well-inclined towards the idea, mentioned that the planet could be inhabited by beings who have ideas similar to that of the Third Reich.

What if they want to eat us — or make us their slaves?  Jackie would be safe (obviously) but what about the rest of us?

And another thing — I’ve just read that Jennifer Aniston has bought herself a Trout Pout. Unbelievable. Unforgivable. That thin upper lip was so her and she was lovely just a way she was. Now she’ll just be ordinary. I wish people would stop messing with things and LEAVE WELL ALONE.

*that’s why I’ve got an image of Jackie Stalone here — I’m not trying to suggest she looks like an alien…

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Just a little reminder that the £100 for One Hundred Words competition is still running over at Larkin & Catcher. The competition is poetry-related but even if you’re not a budding poet it’s worth having a go, as the prize is £100 worth of items from the Larkin & Catcher store. I know I’m biased but there really are some lovely things there and you could either keep them for yourself or store them up as gifts for birthdays or even Christmas (I’d just keep them).

The image above is nothing to do with the competition or Larkin & Catcher but it’s one I found on a CD of clipart I just bought. Is it just me or does the one on the right have some sort of creepy extra eye? The ‘rabbit’ on the left just looks evil. No wonder kids have nightmares — and come to think of it — the L&C logo does have those freaky little rabbit-type creatures on it…

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I was really happy to hear that The Scottish Play (can’t write the name here — might bring bad luck to my blog — you understand, I’m sure) is coming to Edinburgh. I was just about to try to find a window in my hectic schedule, when I read that Laby MacB was to be played by some actress from River City.  I was eating a nice big bowl of Rice Krispies at the time and the shock nearly brought on a choking incident (similar to my Red Bull one, way back).

I can’t even say how much I detest River City — it’s worse than my aversion to honey and my distaste for that borders on a phobia. Admittedly, I’ve only watched a few episodes of this so-called Scottish soap and that was a while back but Every Single Thing about that programme annoyed and depressed me and I genuinely find it to be unwatchable. Listening to it would be unbearable too, as it hurts my brain to hear the Glaswegian accent so exaggerated and abused (most of the cast probably live in places like Bearsden and speak like Prince William).

I may be able to screw my courage to the sticking place and go to see the play, but — at the very least — I shall issue a small hiss when Lady MacB makes her entrance.

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