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Archive for January, 2008

Mona Lisa’s Eyebrows

I know this is a bit random — but if you’ve ever wondered what happened to the Mona Lisa’s eyebrows (when you’re not worrying about what’s happening to the economy) have a look here.

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Limbo skating boy featured on Sky News.

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I’ve just found this Victorian Travel Coat at J. Peterman  — which fits in quite well with my current obsession with all things Steampunk. It’s on sale just now for $129.00 — if I wasn’t such as short-arse I think I’d go for it.

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But you’ve no doubt noticed that already. She’s back in the limelight again, thanks to Sweeney Todd (which is a musical? — I don’t know why I think that’s so strange…).

Bonham-Carter has always taking a fair old pounding from the press over her ‘unusual’ fashion choices — to the extent that the words ‘homeless bag lady’ can trigger an automatic association with her name. The British public have a bit of a liking for her, though — partly because we have a soft spot for genuine eccentrics but also because, in a world of ‘plastics’, she stands out as don’t-give-a-damn real. Plus, she can actually act, which — although not a compulsory skill for someone in her profession — must come in handy as the years go by.

Anyway, the Daily Mail have just gone and made a great big fuss about the fact that she was sporting a moustache to the premier of Sweeney Todd. Not that her whiskers were all that noticeable from far off — but the zoom did show that she could give Johnny Depp some competition when it comes to upper-lip foliage.

I’m not going to post that photograph here.

No. I’m not going to encourage that type of thing.

Oh, OK then.

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If you’re really desperate to get the full-sized verision  go here.

In her defence I would say this (though there’s no excuse for the teeth):

  • at least she had the decency to bleach it (though that may have made things worse — in terms of a false sense of security brought about by viewing the results in low-light situations)
  • she’s just had a baby — so upper-lip waxing may figure pretty low in her list of priorities
  • no-one over the age of around ten can get away with that kind of close-up without some imperfections showing up

I know that last point is a fact, because I bought a x12 magnification mirror last week (to do my eyebrows) and the thing has had a devastating effect on anyone who’s looked at it. I’m thinking of taking it out and burying it in a deep dark hole somewhere because not only does it make everyone feel bad about themselves — revealing previously invisible open pores, acne scars, moustaches (on girls), spider veins, dangling nose hairs (mostly, but not exclusively, on men) — but the bloody thing is virtually indestructible and mysteriously finds its way back out of waste bins.

Yesterday, a girl I know — who is twenty-two and very beautiful — insisted on looking in the mirror of doom.

“I’m REPULSIVE  — HIDEOUS!” she cried. “And I have a moustache! Why didn’t any of you tell me I have a moustache? I look like… like…”

“Hitler?” suggested someone, helpfully.

I don’t know about you but I think that if any woman was going to get away with a tache — it would be Bonham-Carter.

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amyblonde.jpg Hold the front page — Amy Winehouse has ditched her trademark dark beehive and went for a new short blonde hairstyle. What’s that you’re saying? You don’t give a rat’s behind (I didn’t waste all those precious daylight hours watching Judge Judy without picking-up some of her quaint little utterances, you know). Well, when I stop to think of it, I’m not that bothered what our troubled songstress does with her barnet — but the sight of her as a blonde is just slightly unsettling and leads to highly predictable (get) Back to Black suggestions in every second report of her recent transformation.

I know her exaggerated beehive came in for a good deal of criticism, but I really liked that look and think it had a while to run yet. I can understand why she wanted a change, though — once you get it in your head that you’re sick of the same old look, there’s no stopping you. My obsession just now is a blunt cut. Sharp, no layers. After my last disastrous (many layered) so-called haircut about six months ago, I’ve been determined to get rid of these effing layers. DON’T EVEN MENTION LAYERS TO ME. Just don’t.

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Feels weird to be writing that I love Sundays, because I used to detest them. Most boring day of the week and the dreaded Monday morning hanging over everything. Monday — when you had to go back to earning a living — and I think I could win an award for the number of totally-crap-jobs held by one human being. Everything changed when I started working on Larkin & Catcher.

I’ve never felt more enthusiastic about anything and enthusiasm is practically my middle name. I think many people eventually have their enthusiasm drained out of them in most jobs — the horrible reality that many businesses are rigidly tied to some predefined and inflexible model of operation and the dawning realisation that a majority of businesses do not operate in a form that truly encourages creative thought. Innovation and originality are stifled —  because everyone is so busy sticking to the corporate game and playing safe in order to avoid a knife in the back. I just like the maverick side of L & C and the way we take chances and don’t always opt for the safest option. So work life is happy and I look forward to being here — even if it is usually only in the virtual sense.

But back to Sundays. No lazy lie-in for me last Sunday — I was dragged out on a shopping expedition, despite my insistence that I had no intention of buying one single thing. But it was a good day — partly because we ignored all the ‘Sales’ and just concentrated our attentions on items which we felt had some value unrelated to their price — and also because it was good to be out in the land of the living again. Just relaxing in a coffee shop, idly flicking through newspapers, people-watching, sharing a double-choc muffin. He (a relative) bought shoes and I bought a book and some music.

Everything has been so intense recently, my non-working life has been so caught-up in thoughts of death that I’ve been in an almost permanent state of breath-holding — just waiting for the next big shock. I think Sunday was the most relaxed I’ve been since everything turned up-side down. When we got home we decided we were too whacked-out to cook and ordered a take-away — but then someone ate a bit too fast, swallowed too much and began to choke.  Some water and a lot of back-slapping fixed it and he was laughingly unperturbed. It was only two minutes at most — but in my head I had him dead at nineteen. I laughed, like everyone else — I don’t think they noticed that I was shaking and they would not know that my heart was pounding for ages afterwards.

I have to sort that out — the feeling that everyone I love can be wiped-out in seconds, with no warning. People all over the planet deal with it — the inescapable thing that we run around trying to avoid.

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Best Blogs: Blue Tea

I don’t know why I haven’t mentioned this before — but Blue Tea is one of my favourite art and design related blogs. It’s full of weird, wonderful and obscure links and it is where I found Crummy Church Signs and Kitty Wigs (via the Geekologie link).

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I like the way Geekologie have the Kitty Wigs listed under: proof_of_the_coming_apocalypse.

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