I awoke today to a strange light glaring through my window. What the ….? Then I realised it was sunlight — something which has absent here in Edinburgh for many long and dreary months. It may be a coincidence, but I think this (short-lived) burst of sunlight has lifted my mood a little; I’ve been kind of down recently, in a sort of fug, edging towards depression but not descending all the way down into the abyss. And I’ve been thinking about my parents again, both now long dead. Not any intentional contemplation but sudden out-of-the-blue thoughts, hitting me unaware at odd times in the day or sneaking into my sleep when I’ve no protection and can’t escape. It’s been years now since they died and I know my ‘thought-avoidance’ behaviour is probably unhealthy, but I’m not ready yet and I don’t like my subconscious paying its crafty tricks on me.
Anyway, to celebrate the return of our smidgen of sunlight, I put on Life is a Flower by Ace of Base. I usually reserve the playing of this song for occasions when housemates have begged me to get them out of their bed for an early-morning wedding/job interview/court appearance. Only the dead can sleep through Life is a Flower and it appears to bring out a barely-controlled fury in even the most sweet-natured of people — especially if it is put on repeat and played at full volume. It’s is particularly effective if I sing along. People love that. You can see why I am the very best housemate ever.