Archive for November, 2006

Bad Google!

In did try to post a comment on the Dr Whose blog but I was transferred to some sort of form which insisted I login with my Goggle account or some such nonsense. What is a ‘Google account’? Does it mean you have to have some sort of account with Google? I used to love Google – with their ‘do no evil’ philosophy and the the fact (?) that you have to have a PhD to work for them. I have an almost PhD – in that I was at one point thinking of ‘doing’ one. Titter ye not (I hold the late and great Frankie Howard in the upmost esteem) as I have an extraordinary intellect – or at least an exceptionally large head circumference which is – as we all know – much as a muchness as having an overlarge brain. But I’ve been put off the whole PhD thing by those university bods insistence that I should have some standard grades or somefink.

How elitist can you get? Well they can stuff their sodding pee-aitch-bloody-dees. You and I don’t need them and we are happy together just as we are. You are happy, aren’t you?

So — Google. I’m getting worried about them. Way too powerful for my liking. I’m not joking – I’m seriously worried about Google. They know everything about everyone and everything is far too much. So I’m keeping my eye on them, just to make sure they’re not up to no good. Google might be watching us but I’m watching them, so rest easy in your bed because if they put one more foot out of line I’ll be after them and they won’t know what’s hit them, that’s for sure.

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I said I would never leave you

Ha!  I’m back. This return probably ranks up there with the Mitchell brothers (“Hello ma”) return to Eastenders but with less testosterone and a slightly smaller amount of beer-belly. I’ve been blogging elsewhere but it’s good to be back at the ole homestead and I know all my regular visitors will be ecstatic to see that I’ve returned.  How are both of you anyway?

I haven’t had a chance to check out all of my favourite blogs for a while but last night I had a massive blog-fest and discovered one of the funniest blog entries ever. Reading this almost brought on another choking incident involving a liquid — similar to my bad album covers experience but this time involving Red Bull.

Anyway, I was so impressed with Dr Whose recount of the hellish circus that I decided I might post a comment on his blog. I never leave comments — I could be lurking and skulking around someone’s  blog for years and I could be near-enough desperate to leave  some response to whatever they’ve been saying but I just come over  all shy and can’t bring myself to do it. The thing is – Dr Whose real name is Mark Freeland and I’m wondering if he’s the same guy who’s been involved in The Mighty Boosh and numerous other comedy capers. I don’t why I want to know this —  other than I’d like to know if I’ve discovered an unknown comedy genius or whether he’s already some big-shot television producer.

thehorror320.jpgAnd while I’m on about circus stuff, I’ve just remembered about Stitchy McYarnpant’s Christmas Craptacular, which included this winsome little fellow. I’ve been getting into all this crafty business recently but I can’t think of anybody I hate enough to prompt me to knit up a demonic clown.

Just in case you don’t believe that I’m becoming involved in the whole ‘I made it myself’ movement – I can prove it by informing you that I’ve just bought a sewing machine (a picture of which shall be posted anon). I did ponder on whether I might have put the £15 to better use and the rust patches were a mite off-putting but I could see the long-term potential. Admittedly, it seems to be missing several essential elements which would allow it to function – such as a foot-thingy and a bobbin-what’s-it-called but otherwise it is perfectly lovely-looking piece of equipment and I’ve no doubt that — once I’ve worked out where the thread’s meant to be plugged in — I’ll be running up little numbers to rival the likes of that upstart McQueen.

Finally, I know I keep promising not to mention reality game shows but I’ll keep it short:  I’m A Celebrity – Get Me out of Here — I’ve been mesmerised by David Gest’s metamorphosis from figure of ridicule to all-round Mr Popular. He doesn’t even seem to look that freaky now. And keep in mind that his (adopted) parents had only one pair of legs between them.

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