Archive for August, 2006

I’m not dead


But I’ve not been posting here because I’ve been working around sixteen hours a day (honestly). I’ve got so fat sitting in front of this computer all day that I’ve had to go back to the Sicilian grandmother look.  This is because it is now impossible for me to squeeze my lard into most of my clothes and the only way I can go out in daylight is to adopt the head-to-toe-in-black look. I also had a fair bit of my hair cut off, as I became convinced that I was beginning to bear an uncanny resemblance to the fat guy in Lost.

This fat thing has come at a bad time, as I have to attend a fashion show in a few weeks and it’s bound to be full of skinny people. I hate to be selfish, but I hope the weather takes a turn for the worse, so I can at least wear a scarf to cover some of my chins. There are people who can get away with carrying a bit of blubber but I’m not one of them — not only am I short but I’ve got skinny little arms and legs. So what I really am now is just a black-encased, many-chinned, walking pot-belly. Ah, I feel so good about myself, just writing that.

I’m pretty disgusted at my lack of self control — I used to have it. Where has it gone? And why am I drinking a can of Irn Bru as I write this? I want the other me back. She’s in here, somewhere.

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